Home - List All Discussions

Hi Everyone. I haven't posted in a few years

a lovely abortion story

by: danib

Hello, I posted a few years ago after I gave birth to an unexpected baby. I just want to relay an abortion story. When I was 17, I had an abortion. I have always considered my life in two parts: before and after the abortion. I was a junior in high school when I got pregnant. I called a couple of places requesting abortion information despite always being vigourous oposed to abortion. The first place was very rude and wanted like $600. The 2nd place agreed to a price of $275. So, I went in for my "appointment". First of all, I was scared that my parents would be mad at me and I didn't want to dissapoint them. So, I went to the clinic. They took me in a back room and gave me a blood test. I threw up during the test because I had such bad morning sickness. The ***** "nurse' Said "if you can't handle a blood test, then you can't handle the procedure. I just cried. With that, I ran to the waiting room to get my boyfrind to take me home. He had left to get his disgusting self some breakfast. While I was waiting, they called me back. A "counselour" asked me if I knew my options. I said "yes". She asked if my parents knew. I said "no". Mind you, I was 17 years old. She said "oh, It's ok to cry". Next thing I know, I being transported into the abortion room. As they dilate my cervix, I start to scream. They say "shut up, don't scream.. The pain was horrible. After it was done, I got a whole whole half hour to recover. I was in intense pain. Then I got released and was told to go home and "have a nice lunch". I despise these people. Weeks later I would lie awake in bed in intense pain and not know what was wrong with my body.
Anyway, each year on July 24, I go into a deep depression. That was the day that my 1st child was murdered. I have never recovered from it. The only good thing I can say is that I now have 4 beautiful living children. However, I still think that I would have a 16 year old. It's depressing, and I hate all those who think that this is a "choice". It haunts my every day.
Anyway, thank you to all those who support life. I get crazy looks everytime I wear my pro-life teeshirts.
BTW, I was tested again when I got pregnant 4 months after my 3rd child was born. But, if my dead baby did any good at all, it made me never consider killing my 4th child. However, I still miss my baby. I pray for him/her everyday, and cry in my pillow often.
I hope I don't sound too crazy. If anyone would like to comment, I would love to hear from you.

reply from: carolemarie

I am sorry that you feel so bad and that you are still hurting....you don't sound crazy at all....abortion is a terrible thing for women.
There is healing after abortion, and there are lots of good post abortion healing programs out there. There is one on my website and it is all free and private...
God has forgiven you, but you need to walk in that freedom, enjoy your wonderful children and know that your first child is alive, whole and in heaven. You will meet your baby one day and get the chance to love and know it. Guilt is not helpful, it is crippling and not what God wants for you....

reply from: danib

Thank you for your kind words. However, I will never feel good about myself again. I did something I find deplorable, and I don't see how to recover. I always think about how old my baby would be. And I really detest those who made this possible.

reply from: ChristopherLaRock

But through your experience you can make a difference and help us to save babies.

reply from: danib

But through your experience you can make a difference and help us to save babies.
I would LOVE TOO. What could i possibly do to help. I discuss abortion with everyone I come in contact to. Most people just don't really care. I do, because I am mortified about what happenend (I allowed to happen) to me. I'm devasted 17 years later. I miss my baby and think about it all the time.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

Each child in the family is unique and special. The pain from losing one may never go away. A woman's support group may help. Women who have gone through the same thing as you may be able to share. You may want to see if there is a group meeting in your area.

reply from: danib

Each child in the family is unique and special. The pain from losing one may never go away. A woman's support group may help. Women who have gone through the same thing as you may be able to share. You may want to see if there is a group meeting in your area.
Thanks for your kind words. I agree.

reply from: candlemkr4jesus

I just happened onto this site and read your post. My heart goes out to you. I know I cannot change what you feel, but maybe I can offer you some thought... You said you were 17 when you made your choice. I made the same mistaken choice too. I was 26 and I am even a Christian. When you were 17, you may have been grown up enought to get pregnant. but it has been scientifically proven that the brain at that age cannot understand future consequences from actions made. I hope I make sense. You could not have know at the time how you would feel in the post future. You thought you were making the right choice. You have to forgive yourself. You will never be able to get through this until you do. You have to stop blaming yourself when you could not have forseen the consequences. WE are not perfect. You are not perfect. You have to see that you are robbing your mate ( you didn't state if you were married but i assume you are), your children and yourself. There is nothing you can do to change what happened. You are holding yourself hostage. In your mind you feel that if you do not grieve and torment yourself that you are letting your aborted child down. Your child is in the arms of God. I don't know if you are a believer in Jesus but if you are you must know that your child is happy and whole and healthy. Your child forgives you. You must hear me!! Your child has forgiven you, God has forgiven you. You must forgive your self and give yourself the permission to live again. Like I said, you are robbing your family of their mother/spouse. You are holding your family hostage too. Your other children didn't make this decision and unless you are with the father of your heavenly child, every day that you continue on in pain and torment is one less day that your family has to be with the woman that they love with all their hearts.
We don't know each other. I don't know why I happened to this website tonight, but I can see that you are hurting way longer than you need to. You were too young to understand how your future would turn out. If you were to die tomorrow what legacy are you leaving your present children? Even if you say that you hide your feelings from your family, that is rediculous because children can always see and feel through our disguises. You are only fooling yourself. Please, I am not trying to hurt your further. Do not let your heavenly child go, but you need to place her in Gods arms and make a choice for the sake of your life and your family's life to live again. You can only blame the law and the doctors so much. You could not have known when you were 17 how this would have affected you. It was absolutely impossible for you to know. You must stop telling yourself; If I only knew then what I know now, or why didn't someone stop me, or he shouldn't have let me go in the building that day, if he would have loved me he would have never let me have that abortion... and so on and so on. You play this record over and over in your head...You need to stop and tell yourself that it is OK to be happy and it is Ok to place your heavenly child where she is and pick up the child you have at home. If you believe, your child will be waiting for you and you will have an eternity to share together.
I guess what I am saying is please forgive yourself. It might not get better in one day. but if you keep forgiving yourself and give yourself permission to be happy you will begin to heal. You thinking that you are ruining your heavenly childs memory if you are happy is not a reality. You almost wear it like a coat. If you take it off then what. You have live for years in bondage to something you cannot change even if it took your life. This has become your identity.You are not the person your are supposed to be. You need to fight and find that woman that besides this one mistake you were meant to be. You were not supposed to be this person. You have a life out there. You have given up on happiness but you can find it. You know what, sit down and write your child a letter. Tell her that you are not forgetting her but you have to go on with life. Please think about what I have said. For yourself but mostly for your family. I pray that this helps you a little.
Respectfully,
Candle

reply from: churchmouse

Like carole says, God forgives danib.
I like you had an abortion and regreted it many years later. Every day I thought about killing myself and I had a husband and two children to take care of. I had a responsiblity to them, and for a period of time I certainly let them down. I conceived them and brought them into this world. They deserved better than to be surrounded by someone who wallowed around in self pity. Yes, I killed my child, that truth will never change.......but God did change my heart. He gave me the strength to go on. Once I accepted Him as my personal Savior.......I wanted to make a difference. Today I keep busy working for groups in the pro-life area. I work for Arizona Right To Life and a group called Silent No More. We laugh, we cry, we hope, we dream, we are forgiven!!!!! Thank you Jesus.
Do a search on the internet in your area and see if there are groups you can join. We support each other and it is awesome. You will not be alone any more. Your story deserves to be told, and each time you tell it ...it will gives hope and healing to other woman that desparately need it.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

You CAN feel good about yourself if you choose to; but you have to want it. If you want to remain feeling sorry for yourself then go ahead. If you want help, go get some. There is absolutely no sense for staying depressed about this. Yes, you made a decision that was wrong for you. But take that experience and turn it into a positive instead of a negative! Think about what you have done to protect other children; think about the children you have given birth to yourself. Yes, this is your life after the abortion. Why should it be one filled with pain and agony and anger? YOU have the power to change all of that.
Being pro-life and proactive is a good thing, but healing YOURSELF is more important. I'm so sorry for what you went through; I've made some bad decisions myself, and yes, I hurt for a long time. But every time I hurt I tried my absolute best to remember that it was a lesson, and that I needed to learn from it and move on. I can't remain sad for every bad choice I've made. I can't regret.
Every choice I made, every experience I had that was out of my control have all shaped me. I am happy with who I am; and I know that I can improve myself even more. If you are not happy with who you are, then you need to figure out what you CAN do to change that. You can't change the past. You can change the future.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

You ARE helping. Of course many people act like they don't care. You really sound like you need a caring therapist; it's not healthy to obsess about something like this. You can also protest outside of clinics, and yes, posting online really does have an effect. I used to be pro-choice. I'm not anymore, due to the kind words and stories of some of the people on this forum.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

Sometimes getting everything you "want" turns out not to be what you NEEDED.

reply from: Beprolifewithme

Awwww, I'm so glad that you came back and decided to share!!! I have a friend who is VERY "let's have sex before marriage", VERY prochoice etc. She is agnostic and believes she is the only right person. I'm considering showing this to her, because I'm VERY scared that she is pregnant already. she is a junior at a private school, which I know isn't a very good school, because I know alot of other people from that school, and just in general it is not the best place to go. Anyways, the day that she was moving from my neighborhood we were talking at the next door house where I was dogsitting. So I was wearing a shirt that said something like "I'm a human too!" and had a picture of a baby on there. Well after we discussed like "oh I'm gonna miss you so much!! etc" she was like "oh, what's on your shirt"? And I had my hands crossed over them, not to cover them but they were just crossed. So I like uncrossed them and I was like "oh, it's a cute little baby, my mom got it from a prolife organization ...blah blah blah" and she was like "Embryo's/fetus' (I can't remember which term she used) aren't babies till the third trimester". and I was like "umm NO, they are actually a baby from conception on." then she goes "Well ACTUALLY they can't feel anything and don't act like humans until the third trimester..."
I don't really remember exactly what she said, but it was something to that effect. We argued for a while, then she got frustrated ( i was quite happy!) and she was finally like
"Well we both have our own opinions and we should respect that"
and I was like "well yeah we are both entitled to our own opinions but abortion IMO is NEVER right. It's NEVER right to kill a human" and then she was like
So........then she changes the subject. Before starting my 7th or 8th grade year she called me like right before the end of july and we got to talking about abortion again, because I asked her if she had changed her stance on abortion yet. Well then she goes ON and ON about this guy she likes and how she wanted to get all "into it" with him ETC. and I just started to cry and cry because it scared me SO bad that this girl I had grown up with since like 1st grade was like this. Well then she tells me about wearing what she called "flashy tops" and getting "sexier swimsuits" and i just kept sobbing into the phone. and she was like "are you ok"? and I was like "NO I'm not! " I was so frustrated and upset, but finally she got so worried she just was like "well I'm just going to hang up....'. and she did and I haven't talked to her since. Not that I don't want to or we don't associate anymore, it's just a matter of time. Her mom divorced her dad when she was like 7 and told her "I would've had a better life if I would've aborted you". then she asked her mom "Did you regret having me then"? and her mom was like "Yah, (B word)". Her mom has a partial mental problem and was raised in an abusive family. My friend told me that being raised by her mom was like "going through hell and being raised by the devil".
So it's going to be a long road to conversion for her but I'm VERY determined to get her to the prolife side. I'm NOT forcing her, please don't accuse me of that, but merely showing her WHY it's wrong. I'm sure it will be alot harder now that I haven't talked to her for a while, and that she's a junior and she's always had that "competitive" and "aggressive, I'm always right" type of attitude. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's the best I know how to explain it. Well sorry for such a long post. But thank you again and with your permission, can I post this on my blog? I won't put your name on there if you prefer.
Thank you again!
~Beprolifewithme~

reply from: Cecilia

I am sorry you regret this so badly. It sounds like you are really suffering and need some extra help. Why did you decide to do it even though you were "always being vigourous oposed to abortion"?
I corrected your post for accuracy.

reply from: Beprolifewithme

Have you been able to contact a post-abortion healing place? We have Project Rachel over by us and it's a GREAT organization, we have several friends who council for them. Here's a link:
http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/
">http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/
Here's another one:
http://www.adviceandaid.com/docs/about.asp

Best of luck to you!!

reply from: carolemarie

danib
I had three abortions and while I regret those choices, I have found healing and peace and it doesn't bother me anymore. Life goes on, and you are entitled to be whole again. It doesn't do you any good or anyone else any good to dwell on the past.
If you want to help women chose life, you need to find healing first or you will not be able to help anyone....
There are tons of free programs that really help! God heals you without scars and give you back your life....

reply from: danib

You wanted an abortion. You went to the clinic and paid for the abortion. You participated in the abortion.
Those people gave you everything you asked for and now you despise them?
I don't get it...
yeah, idiot. I got just what I wanted. I wanted someone to help me. They were so nasty to me. They sent me home with no painkillers, nothing. I was in bed screaming in pain. My parents would have been there for me. I needed someone to tell me that. They made me feel as if I had no choice. How many medical facilities give you a 1/2 hour to recover from major surgery. I was in pain, and they told me to get out. I was 17 for god sake. My parents would have helped me. They were not given the opportunity. Eff you.

reply from: carolemarie

I corrected your post for accuracy.
It was accurate as I originally posted it.

reply from: carolemarie

she has a point you know. I was 15, 16 and 18, being young and wrong about what you think will help you isn't the abortion clinics fault. Part of healing is being able to accept our responsibility in the abortion decision. Why didn't you go to your parents if you were so sure they would help you?
I strongly urge you to seek some help....you need to find some peace...
Blessings,
Carolemarie

reply from: danib

she has a point you know. I was 15, 16 and 18, being young and wrong about what you think will help you isn't the abortion clinics fault. Part of healing is being able to accept our responsibility in the abortion decision. Why didn't you go to your parents if you were so sure they would help you?
I strongly urge you to seek some help....you need to find some peace...
Blessings,
Carolemarie
Yes carole. Believe me. I accept responsibilty. However, I was merely pointing out that the clinic I went to was cruel and uncaring. I didn't go to my parents because I didn't want to disappoint them. Stupid, stupid decision. yeah, she has a point. I went there for an abortion, and they were more than thrilled to give it to me. Thanks so much.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

I see danib gave her own reasons. However, I do believe others have the same response. Young teenagers live in a society that tells them being promiscous is the in and normal thing. Society says abortion is a quick and easy fit. Then a person actually lives the experience. They find it's not so pleasant. In fact, they grow to hate and despise the society and abortion professionals that cheered them on from the sidelines. Now that person hates these "counselors" who caused so much pain and harm in their life; even bringing about the death of a child.
It's good when a person grows to hate and despise the villians that facilitated the death of her own child. And the mistake the mother made due to poor peer and abortionist advice may never go away...ever (not in this lifetime).

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

Your post sounds cold-hearted. Your three abortions don't bother you anymore. Complete healing with no scars. Life just goes on...you're entitled....
No one is entitled.
You almost make it sound like the abortions were a non-event; certainly not very important. I'm sure it was very important to three people.

reply from: carolemarie

Look, I feel for you and I know that you are hurting....I wish that I had made different decisions as well....but I didn't. Nobody is slamming you....you have suffered terribly and you feel deceived and expoited....
It is common for women to blame the abortion provider, blameshifting is part of denial. Reality is that businesses don't try to turn away customers, they exist to provide what you want....
I don't think teenagers are mature enough to make an abortion decision and that abortion clinics exploit young girls because we are easy to sell the procedure to...
I am just concerned that you are this angry still....because if you don't deal with that anger it will turn into depression...there is real help, please at least try a post abortion healing program, God wants to bless you and help you, He loves you and wants to wipe away every tear...

reply from: carolemarie

Your post sounds cold-hearted. Your three abortions don't bother you anymore. Complete healing with no scars. Life just goes on...you're entitled....
No one is entitled.
You almost make it sound like the abortions were a non-event; certainly not very important. I'm sure it was very important to three people.
I wasn't posting to you, I don't expect you to understand how terrible abortion can make you feel, how worthless and depressed and how alone. Anger is common. And this girl feels terrible. But there is healing.
Why would the fact that you can heal bother you, do you believe I should feel terrible forever? When people heal you, it leaves scars. When God heals you, there are no scars, He took them so you don't have to.
You can go on and enjoy your life and be happy. I have and so have countless women. She can to....

reply from: danib

Originally posted by: danib
I was in bed screaming in pain. My parents would have been there for me. I needed someone to tell me that. They made me feel as if I had no choice. How many medical facilities give you a 1/2 hour to recover from major surgery. I was in pain, and they told me to get out. I was 17 for god sake. My parents would have helped me. They were not given the opportunity. Eff you.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
You knew your choices, everyone does. You CHOSE abortion.
Abortion is NOT major surgery, it's a minor outpatient procedure. Women who have it done under a local have no "recovery time." Take a Tylenol.
If your parents were not "given the opportunity," it's because YOU denied them one, not the clinic.
I hope you squeeze a LOT of attention out of your shrill little story, 'cause you are clearly a drama queen/chaos addict, and attention is all you want.

reply from: danib

Oh f you. I was in intense pain. Yeah, I'm just a drama queen. I'm just posting my story to relay to others the incompasstiote nature of the abortion clinics. Abortion was major surgery for me. I was crying in pain for weeks. You just assume that I didn't suffer. I had to hide it from me parents. They would have been there for me. I was just too young and cowardly to tell them. Yeah. I just want attention....... Carry on!!! Who really gives *****. I'm just posting a trueful story. Yeah, I did deny my parents the priviledge. That's becuase girls can get an abortion, but not an aspirin. Yeah, please give me a whole bunch of attention.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

Carolemarie. You post reminds me of a top ten song, "Don't worry, be happy". You may want to quote me book and verse where God says the hurting will be healed in this lifetime without a scar. I have every confidence that snappy happy line was the creation of a charismatic preacher.
I believe danib has every right to put some of the blame of the abortion on the abortion clinic's shoulders. In fact, I believe all of society has it's guilt in providing the educational system that it did during her first 17 years of life. They are criminally responsible, and I mean it. Ultimately, Satan is presently the ruler of this earth and takes primary responsibility for the ills of society. On the Day of Atonement Satan (the scapegoat) will rightfully have the guilt placed on his head and he will be driven out. At that same time, the Sacrifice's blood will pay the price of our past transgressions.

reply from: danib

It is common for women to blame the abortion provider, blameshifting is part of denial. Reality is that businesses don't try to turn away customers, they exist to provide what you want....
I don't think teenagers are mature enough to make an abortion decision and that abortion clinics exploit young girls because we are easy to sell the procedure to...
Look. i blame myself. However, I couldn't get an aspirin without parental consent. They didn't care. They told me to leave the clinic in pain. They gave me no pain meds. I was crying for 3 weeks inpain. I didn't know what was happening. A whole Fing 1/2 hour to recover. I place the blame solely on myself. However, a 17 year old girl should need to consult her paretns.

reply from: danib

She asked for the abortion, payed good money for the privledge, and climbed up on that table.
You guys remind me of the people who get fat and sue McDonald's.
Hey, ***** you. Callous *****. I'm sure I will get banned. I did not climb on any table. I was told to "get on the table" You are just in denial

reply from: carolemarie

I agree that teenagers shouldn't be able to obtain abortions without the parents knowning. Most teenager get abortions so the parents don't find out they are having sex, and they are totally unprepared for the emotional fallout from abortion....
I am sorry that all this happen to you...have you tried a post-abortion recovery program? It will help you find healing and peace....

reply from: danib

I am sorry that all this happen to you...have you tried a post-abortion recovery program? It will help you find healing and peace....
Nah, My baby did not get the same courtesy.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

danib was 17 and received an abortion of her own free will? It seems there are two major issues here. One, a rape has ocurred since danib was not of age to give consent to sex. Children cannot make contracts. The perp should have been incarcerated. Second, again, children can't make contracts or engage in major transactions/decisions. The abortionist should have been incarcerated if they did not have signed consent from parent's to engage in a medical procedure.
Are they building prisons big enough to house all the criminals in this story? I image the statute of limitations has run out and the abortion clinic cannot be held liable for performing an unlawful abortion.
I blame 5 Supreme Court judges for getting the ball rolling on this whole sorry story.

reply from: carolemarie

Originally posted by: GodsLaw4Us2Live
Carolemarie. You post reminds me of a top ten song, "Don't worry, be happy". You may want to quote me book and verse where God says the hurting will be healed in this lifetime without a scar. I have every confidence that snappy happy line was the creation of a charismatic preacher.
_______________________________________________________________
Here is the book and verse
1THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound,(A)
2To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,(B)
3To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion--to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit--that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61(Amplified Bible)

reply from: Hosea

Dear Danib,
I truely believe you regret your abortions. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GRIEVE FOR THAT CHILD. You need to ask the Lord for forgiveness and He will forgive you. Then ask Him for the power to forgive yourself. You know the difference between the two new testament people Judas and Peter...Judas did not believe he could be forgivien and Peter believed he could be forgiven. He was the biggest goof of the apostles and yet after accepting Jesus' forgiveness he became the leader of the apostles. He accepted forgiveness and got on with the Lord's work and you can too. Accept Jesus' forgiveness and get on with his work with your children and anything else He wishes you to do.

reply from: Hosea

Compassion classes might help you, spin. You are mean and nasty and I am putting you on ignore and I urge others to do the same.

reply from: yoda

Good to hear from you again, it's been a while.
Sorry to hear your story, though. Some things are good for nothing else but to teach us what not to do, I guess. Learning from our mistakes is the only good thing we can do with them. Well, maybe sharing what we learned with other, too.

reply from: yoda

To me, there is a parallel between abortion (after Roe) and the old fable about lemmings stampeding over a cliff in large numbers. Many times people just follow along with what "the crowd" is doing, hoping that there is some safety in numbers. And the go over the cliff with everyone else.
Sometimes we realize too late that there is no safety in some crowds. Fifty million Frenchmen CAN be wrong.
But post abortive women (and the men who went along, pressured, etc.) can do something that the lemmings in that fable couldn't... they can stand at the side of the stampede and try to warn the other women not to go over that cliff. Not many will listen, but a few will. And that makes it worthwhile to try.

reply from: yoda

I don't think those two things are in any way mutually exclusive, in fact I think they compliment each other.

reply from: yoda

Do they hand out compassion to those who don't have any?

reply from: yoda

Get involved with some local prolife organizations. Many of them are listed in the yellow pages, or you can go online and use a search engine. There is a "right to life" organization in just about every state and major city. And there are CPC's all over the country where you can counsel women with unexpected pregnancies. Just make contact with another prolife activist near you, and go from there.

reply from: Cecilia

I corrected your post for accuracy.
It was accurate as I originally posted it.
Frank denial that someone might not regret their abortion is just as fallacious as if I said that no woman really regrets their abortion, it's all a lie.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

I don't think those two things are in any way mutually exclusive, in fact I think they compliment each other.
It sounds like her being proactive isn't helping her heal, that's why I said what I did.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

Teen pregnancy does not equate teen motherhood.

reply from: danib

Wait...
At 17 she was too stupid to decide to have an abortion, but at 18 you can marry or join the military - two decisions that are FAR more serious that a minor surgical procedure?
Maybe 17-year-olds should pe jailed for getting knocked-up. Teen motherhood will destroy your life more surely than some minor medical procedure will.
All I can say is you are one callous person. I had heard people like you exist. So sad to find out it is true.

reply from: danib

Good to hear from you again, it's been a while.
Sorry to hear your story, though. Some things are good for nothing else but to teach us what not to do, I guess. Learning from our mistakes is the only good thing we can do with them. Well, maybe sharing what we learned with other, too.
Hi there. I haven't posted in awhile, but I frequently read here. I greatly admire you and your dedication. I enjoy reading your intelligent, witty responses.

reply from: danib

But thank you again and with your permission, can I post this on my blog? I won't put your name on there if you prefer.
Beprolifewithme, post away. Thanks for caring.

reply from: yoda

And your basis for that conclusion is.........????????

reply from: RiverMoonLady

You mentioned that your cervix was dilated. How far along were you? It sounds like you had a mid-term abortion, not an early one. Did you not know you were pregnant?
Even 17-year-olds have the common sense to NOT do what they know is WRONG. I guess you were desperate. Please get counseling so that you can lose the anger and gain healing.

reply from: yoda

Some do, some don't. And most all of them are "desperate"... what else is new?

reply from: RiverMoonLady

Some do, some don't. And most all of them are "desperate"... what else is new?
Yes, Yoda, and it would be a perfect world if ALL teenagers had the common sense to NOT play around with sex and to NOT get pregnant.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

Some do, some don't. And most all of them are "desperate"... what else is new?
Yes, Yoda, and it would be a perfect world if ALL teenagers had the common sense to NOT play around with sex and to NOT get pregnant.
I hold the adults responsible to a large degree. Look at all the sexually suggestive stuff on TV. The adults are providing horrible guidance; they are wicked. The morals/values educational system is defective or missing.

reply from: churchmouse

Minor, major......its a procedure that kills.
Have you ever had an abortion? How do you know what recovery time entails? It was the most painful procedure that i have ever had done. I remember everything and crying so loud that I asked them to stop.
I had cramping for days afterwards and nausea as well.
You are right here. Woman should take responsiblity. They are the ones like you say that are allowing the abortion to happen. Doctors wouldn't have any patients if no one signed up for the procedure. Nevertheless they play their part and they are the ones that do the killing. A woman needs a doctor to kill. They both are responsible. Abortions wouldn't happen at clinics if the doctors said no. But abortionist according to the law are not doing anything wrong. Our government says killing the unborn is ok.
It does sound coldhearted but nevertheless the point is made and I think its a point well taken.
If you are a Christian and you ask forgiveness......God fogives. Forgive means.....wiping the slate clean and that is what God does. He does not hold that sin against us.
"There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins." 1 John 1:8
A believer receives God's forgiveness when he repents of sin. I was forgiven and so was Carole. God wiped our slates clean, the same way he does when you sin and you ask to be forgiven.
You have to remember your sins before you confess them.......but "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
1 Corinthians 15:10 says, "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect".
Jesus took our shame and our sin......"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ," he said. " ... One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:7-14).
"I blame 5 Supreme Court judges for getting the ball rolling on this whole sorry story."
WELL SAID

reply from: BossMomma

Only because people would rather they abort than actually give a damn. The only people a teen abortion really benefits are those who'd rather not pay to assist the teen in raising her child.

reply from: yoda

Some do, some don't. And most all of them are "desperate"... what else is new?
Yes, Yoda, and it would be a perfect world if ALL teenagers had the common sense to NOT play around with sex and to NOT get pregnant.
?????
First you say they DO have "the common sense", and now you say IF they all had "the common sense"?
Which is it?

reply from: carolemarie

Get involved with some local prolife organizations. Many of them are listed in the yellow pages, or you can go online and use a search engine. There is a "right to life" organization in just about every state and major city. And there are CPC's all over the country where you can counsel women with unexpected pregnancies. Just make contact with another prolife activist near you, and go from there.
Do know that most pregnancy help centers will require that you complete a post-abortion class before you counsel any clients because you need to be healed before you attempt to help other people.
Frankly, I am worried about you and urge you to seek help.....

reply from: LiberalChiRo

And your basis for that conclusion is.........????????
The fact that she says she thinks about it every single day and that she's severely depressed.

reply from: Cecilia

I asked back why she had an abortion despite being vigorously against it. Could you answer danib?

reply from: carolemarie

I corrected your post for accuracy.
It was accurate as I originally posted it.
Frank denial that someone might not regret their abortion is just as fallacious as if I said that no woman really regrets their abortion, it's all a lie.
Abortion is terrible for women because it forces them into a position of having to end a life to live theirs. That is why abortion is a terrible thing for women....

reply from: KaylieBee

Wait, what? Seventeen in junior high school?

reply from: scopia1982

I think she meant a 17 yr old high school junior

reply from: danib

I asked back why she had an abortion despite being vigorously against it. Could you answer danib?
I thought I had answered that, but I will answer again. Because I was cowardly. I went to a christian school, and I knew I could not continue there being pregnant. Furthermore, I was extremely ill and could not stop throwing up. I was trying to hide this from my mother but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Plus, the father was an real jerk and just treated me like garbage and told me to get rid of it. I guess I never really thought that it would be possible to get an abortion without my parents knowing. I thought for sure that they (the clinic) would call me parents. They didn't. So, I ran out into the waiting room looking for the bf, and he had left me there. So, I just went back and let them do it.
I just wanted to share my story because I wonder how often it happens like this. A scared kid comes in and rather than trying to help the kid, they just do what they do. I wonder how many women have ruined lives because of a circumstance like this.

reply from: danib

Wait, what? Seventeen in junior high school?
No, I was 17 and a junior in high school.

reply from: danib

I would just like to apologize to everyone for my bad language and behavior. Some days are worse for me than others, and I really lose control of my emotions sometimes. I have been to counseling, but it is really hard to get help because the conselors that I have went to have been more interested in convincing me I did the right thing which my heart vigorously disagrees with.

reply from: KaylieBee

Oh, okay, that makes more sense.
Second half of the year, right? I'm going to still be 17 when I graduate.

reply from: CharlesD

That's some pretty lousy counseling. It sounds like they can't get past their ideology long enough to give you the help you really need.

reply from: 4given

I am sure your situation has played out far more than any others for girls your age. Most do so out of shame. You will reach someone. I applaud you for your courage. I am sure that healing takes longer than expected. I am sure that women never completely get over the life that was lost that day. Thank you for being here. Some people do not post, but read here. I suspect your message may be intended for one in a similar plight.

reply from: Cecilia

I corrected your post for accuracy.
It was accurate as I originally posted it.
Frank denial that someone might not regret their abortion is just as fallacious as if I said that no woman really regrets their abortion, it's all a lie.
Abortion is sometimes terrible for women because it allows them to choose either giving birth or ending a life to live theirs. That is why abortion is a terrible thing for some women....
You just repeated yourself, and you are still wrong, so I corrected it again. You shouldn't insult women by claiming omnipotence over them.

reply from: CharlesD

You know, sometimes I get so wrapped up in making the best possible arguments that I can that I forget about the human side to this, about the pain that is caused by abortion. I've just read through this thread and it's everything I can do to keep from weeping like a baby. My heart really goes out to you. There really is nothing I can say that will take away the pain, except that the Lord is in the healing business and I will pray that He will comfort you as only He can. I can't say that I know how you feel, because I don't. I have made stupid mistakes that I regret; we all have, but I have never gone through what you have. The only thing I can do is pray, and I will be doing that.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

There are pro-life counselors out there, but you don't necessarily need to be told you're a murderer either. Self-indulging in your pain isn't a cure. I think there are websites online too that are for women who have aborted and regretted. You DO need to forgive yourself... everyone else has.

reply from: Cecilia

Thanks for asnwering. Doesn't sound like you were in a culture that welcomed teen pregnancy so you got an abortion. I'm sure you'd like to see things like this change where teens had more help and parochial schools weren't so stiff lipped about pregnancy.

reply from: Cecilia

There are pro-life counselors out there, but you don't necessarily need to be told you're a murderer either. Self-indulging in your pain isn't a cure. I think there are websites online too that are for women who have aborted and regretted. You DO need to forgive yourself... everyone else has.
A good counselor isn't either/or. It's not about the counselor it's about the client. you should fire your counselor and definately seek out someone else.

reply from: danib

A good counselor isn't either/or. It's not about the counselor it's about the client. you should fire your counselor and definately seek out someone else.
When I told my last counselor what I thought my problems stemmed from, she kind of just rolled her eyes.

reply from: danib

You know, sometimes I get so wrapped up in making the best possible arguments that I can that I forget about the human side to this, about the pain that is caused by abortion. I've just read through this thread and it's everything I can do to keep from weeping like a baby. My heart really goes out to you. There really is nothing I can say that will take away the pain, except that the Lord is in the healing business and I will pray that He will comfort you as only He can. I can't say that I know how you feel, because I don't. I have made stupid mistakes that I regret; we all have, but I have never gone through what you have. The only thing I can do is pray, and I will be doing that.
Thank you for saying so. I appreciate you caring.

reply from: 4given

I think that sometimes the best counseling one can receive is by another person that has been through what they have. I believe it would benefit you to spend your time discussing your abortion and the details with another post-abortive woman. Carole has a lot of strength. I am sure you know of the many organizations. Silent No More, Rachel's Vineyard.. There is hope. There is healing. Stop spending money on therapy - especially when you are being disrespected that way.

reply from: danib

Stop spending money on therapy - especially when you are being disrespected that way.
I have. The therapy wasn't recent. I'm trying to recover on my own. I'm keeping very busy with the 4 living children I do have.
Let's talk about something positive. I got pregnant with my 4th child four months after I had a baby. If I had not gone through this horrible experince, he would not be here. That's a good thing.

reply from: 4given

Surely he is. I guess I need to re-read your story though.. You have 4 living. I thought you aborted your first child. What is the significance of getting pregnant with the 4th child? I mean it is obviously a major event. I just don't understand the link. Are you implying that had you not experienced abortion, you may have aborted baby #5? I am confused. Please bear with me.

reply from: GodsLaw4Us2Live

A song from a dad to his aborted child:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5jfmAXVGO8
Credit BossMomma with locating this video. I thought it might express some of the same regrets you feel danib.

reply from: yoda

And you are an expert on how long it takes to get over something like that, or what it takes for each individual to get over it?
How many degrees do you have in that subject?

reply from: yoda

You shouldn't insult unborn babies by claiming omnipotence over them, and approving of killing them.

reply from: carolemarie

Congrats on the new baby
I know that sometimes things that bring us great joy, like the birth of a new baby are tinged with sadness over what we missed out on years ago....it's okay to acknowledge that loss as you continue to enjoy your new child....
but if you are still bitter and angry or there is a pain deep in your soul, God wants to heal that....God wants to restore you and give you a hope and a future, not a future where you have to be ashamed and sad over past mistakes, but one in which you are free.....that brings Glory to His name. Satan is the accuser of the brethern and he may condemn you, but God doesn't.
I pray peace for you....

reply from: scopia1982

Danib, I can symapthize with the pain you are going through. I was forced to abort my daughter when I was 17 and 5 monthes pregnant. I know what happened to me wasnt my fault, but I find myself blaming myself, some days. For not being physically strong enough to overcome my ex and the nurses at the clinic. Its a long story that I don't want to repeat right now.It will be 8 years October 29 so I am going through a very emotionally draining time. My husband sadly isnt supportive and does not understand that I lost a child and is ashamed to be married to a woman who has had an abortion. Although he supports "restricted" legal abortion to save the life of the mother or rape/incest cases. I know that I am suffering from a major case of survivors guilt. I am seeing a threapist, who finally understands what I am going through and is treating me for PTSD. Before when I went to a threapist they would roll their eyes or look at me with the 1000 yard stare like I was speaking gibberish. Usually it would end up with me being prescribed anti-depressants and being told "take these nice pills and you will feelall better now". In reality the anti depressants made me feel worse.


2017 ~ LifeDiscussions.org ~ Discussions on Life, Abortion, and the Surrounding Politics