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My girlfriend wants to get an abortion...

by: eristic

and I don't agree with it.
I don't know what to do because on the one hand, I believe it IS her body and her chioce. On the other hand, I want a child to hold and call mine.
We just found out she was pregnant two weeks ago (we don't know how along she is) and have been arguing since. Go figure, huh? I found this board because I'm really lost. I want to win our arguments and I'm out of steam. She just won't give up. I know it's an important issue, but I want that baby boy so bad.
Any help?
Yours,
Lost

reply from: LiberalChiRo

First, you really do need to find out how far along she is. Do you actually know the gender, or are you just guessing? Gender can only be determined by an ultrasound, and even more, a baby's gender cannot be determined until weeks 18-22, and by then, most abortions are out of the question by law for many reasons.
You also need to tell us why she wants an abortion. You sound like you're willing to be a responsible young man; do you have a job to support her and the child in the first months of life? Is she ready for a committed relationship with you? It's my personal opinion that if a couple is going to bring a child into the world that they should marry.
It's not about winning an argument. Why is she unwilling to give birth to this child?
Is adoption a possible answer? If you care this much about the child, then seeing it alive in someone else's arms should be an acceptable solution for you as opposed to its death. Your girlfriend may not be ready to be a mother. If so, then adoption may be a compromise that you, as a COUPLE, can make.

reply from: carolemarie

Why don't you both go to a local pregnancy help center and see what they can do to help you? There are lots of resources for her and you to seem to need someone to help you talk this out without fighting.
That is what they do, conflict resolution and helping with planning and resources and it is all free.

reply from: sander

We have one male poster on here who offered the girl money instead of aborting, and now he is raising that child.
You're up against a culture that has "ordained" abortion rights the sole right of the mother. I think it's terribly unfair.
Have you shown her fetal development photos? Discussed with her how and what happens each week of gestation? Is there any way she would be willing to listen to the heart beat or view her child on 4d ultra sound?
Here's a link to ultra sound photos: http://www.lifeissues.org/

There's also some info on men in your position.
Does she not care whatsoever about your feelings? That doesn't sound like a woman with the best of all characters, but only you know the full extent of the story behind the story.

reply from: galen

why not see an unbiased couselor together so that each of you can get a better view of what the other thinks...
Also if you are going to keep a child you will need to learn how to argue fairly and effectively.
once you know more about how she feels and how you feel you will be able to go farther along in helping to convince her to have the baby. more than likely you are both in shock and handleing it diffrently.
i'm sorry but without knowing more this is about the best i can say at this time.

reply from: eristic

Paying her, now that may be an answer, though a last resort.
We don't know how long she is because she refuses to get it checked out. I think it may be three months or so because of the pattern we've been having sex.
She wants to get an abortion for these reasons with my contrary argument:
1. We can't afford it. (I work for the federal government. There's money.)
2. There's no time. (Both of us work, but we spend plenty of time together.)
3. She doesn't want to birth it. (Now, that's selfish.)
4. She's just not ready. (I'm ready.)
There are many other ones, but those are the main ones. I don't think it's selfish that I want to have the child. I want it no matter what sex it is. I just imagine, happily, having a baby boy and teaching it catch and that stuff.

reply from: eristic

I would not want to put it up for adoption. To answer your question, I am 27 and she is 28.

reply from: galen

_____________________________________________________
yep the two of you need counseling... just wanting a child is not enough... wanting it NO MATTER WHAT ( ie adoption) is another matter...
i don't agree she should abort, but everyone is right you will have an uphill battle on your hands if you don't at least try to see her side and make her see yours.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

Well, she cannot get an abortion without an ultrasound to determine how far along she is, because the doctor may have to use a different process depending on how large the fetus is. She is going to have to get checked out unless she wants to wander around the next 9 months, give birth on the sidewalk, and walk away.
It's good to know you have the money. Do you really have time though? Does your job give paternal leave - like maternal leave for women, but for men, to spend time helping her in the first month? Does she get maternal leave? Will either of you lose your jobs if you have to take off a week suddenly for baby's illnesses? How is she going to care for a newborn if she's at work? How are you going to care for it?
As for her not wanting to give birth, goodness! That's not selfish! Birth is, for most women, an incredibly frightening and painful experience. I can completely understand why she wouldn't want to give birth! Would you be willing to push a watermelon out of your privates to give birth? Probably; but initially it is a very, very frightening idea.
If she feel's she's not ready, that's probably because it has been so sudden. She wasn't expecting it, so of course she's not ready!
You guys need more time, and it sounds like she's utterly terrified. That's why she doesn't want to get checked out, that's why she wants to abort. She wants it to go away. I have had a pregnancy scare, believe me the only thing she wants is for it to all go away.
I'd definitely go to an unbiased pregnancy center, one that won't try to push you towards abortion or away from it. You need honest answers. You're here. I'd also suggest checking out a pro-choice forum. I know you're pro-life, but since your girlfriend is obviously pro-choice you need to try and see the world from her point of view, too. Also, they will be able to give you resources you may not get here.
Take the information you get from both places and review it all, compare all of it. Only the will you get a REAL picture of what abortion entails.
Finally, whatever you and she decide to do, your next step after the pregnancy is birth control. What are you doing now, what failed, what should you do in the future to prevent another accident?

reply from: LiberalChiRo

As Vexing said... If you would not be happy putting it up for adoption, would you then rather see it aborted?
Do you want to stay with your girlfriend? If you do, then you can't raise the child yourself because your girlfriend is in your life, too. If you wouldn't mind leaving her behind and taking the child, then you may have some legal resources.
I honestly think you need to reconsider adoption. If your girlfriend absolutely does not want to raise this child, then your choices become her or the baby. You won't be able to have both. But if you're willing to give the child up for adoption, then you can stay with your girlfriend.
That's just once scenario.

reply from: sander

NONE of those are justifiable reasons to kill a child.
YOU might want to remember there is a THIRD PERSON in all of this.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

NONE of those are justifiable reasons to kill a child.
YOU might want to remember there is a THIRD PERSON in all of this.
I didn't say they were... what's wrong with you?

reply from: sander

NONE of those are justifiable reasons to kill a child.
YOU might want to remember there is a THIRD PERSON in all of this.
I didn't say they were... what's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me? LOL
Okay, show me where you wrote a caveat in that post concerning those reasons NOT being justifiable reasons?

reply from: LiberalChiRo

I was discussing the concerns any parent must consider when bringing a child into the world. YOU have decided to interpret them as reasons to abort. I never implied such. You seem to be the one obsessed with abortion here.

reply from: sander

Any reasonable person would interpet those words exactly for what they said.

You're just so use to finding ways to excuse abortion you don't even realize what you write.
And, just so you're clear...this whole TOPIC is about abortion! In fact, the whole entire webisite is....sheesh.

reply from: LiberalChiRo

Gee, I thought this site was called Pro-LIFE America, not pro-ABORTION America...

reply from: sander

Being obtuse doesn't look good on you.

reply from: sheri

Here is a national # to Carenet, 1800 395 HELP. Alot of these places have ultrasounds right at the clinics, maybe after she has all her options laid out she will feel more in control and able to handle the situation.
Maybe it would help if you also gave her very concrete information on every thing you would be willing to do to help.
If she is really as far along as you think then the abortion will still be a painful situation for her, I know labor is no picknic but an abortion can be just as painful.

reply from: meaculpa

Watch the new movie "Bella" with her, It just came out on DVD.
It's very powerful and well done . There is no preaching, The word abortion isn't even spoken but it could help you both make the right choice.
My prayers are with you

reply from: ChristianLott2

if she has seen the abortion pictures:
http://www.priestsforlife.org/images/index.htm
.....

reply from: ChristianLott2

There are videos on that site as well. It's all extremely horrible.

reply from: ChristianLott2

here is a REAL abortion recorded:
http://www.silentscream.org/

reply from: galen

show her this if nothing else.. maybe when she sees what is growing it will help her identify with it...and GO TO COUNSELING.
http://www.visembryo.com/baby/index.html

reply from: ChristianLott2

important pictures:
http://www.priestsforlife.org/resources/abortionimages/fetaldevelopment.htm
pictures which most affected me
3 and a half months:
http://www.priestsforlife.org/resources/abortionimages/fig18baby3.5mos.jpg
http://www.priestsforlife.org/resources/abortionimages/fig19baby3.5mos.jpg

reply from: ChristianLott2

there is a chance she will become barren.
she will have a greater risk of breast cancer and miscarriage on subsequent pregnancies.
above all, she already HAS a child. you can't erase a baby that's already there. an abortion will haunt you for the rest of your life and into the next one.
my own children were murdered. when the abortionist was suctioning those 3.5 month old babies of ours out he told her there was more than one.
she said it hurt and he said 'it's what you wanted!'

reply from: ChristianLott2

http://abortionfacts.com/online_books/love_them_both/why_cant_we_love_them_both.asp
this is a very important book!
at least scroll down and read the index and topics. this is the pro life bible.
most women regret abortion. that's because they finally realize they've just MURDERED their own child!

reply from: ChristianLott2

there a pro aborts around here like xenatiger just to lie to you.
there is only one RIGHT and GOOD choice - the choice NOT TO MURDER YOUR OWN CHILD.

reply from: ChristianLott2

index of book i just linked you to:
CONTENTS
PREFACE
PART I - INTRODUCTION
Chapter
1 - The Situation
2 - The Three Questions
3 - How To Teach The Pro-Life Story.
4 - Discrimination
5 - Something Old, Something New
PART II - THE LAW
Chapter
6 - Two Infamous Days in the U.S.A.
7 - Legal Pre-Roe
8 - Post Roe Vs. Wade
9 - Health
PART III - HUMAN LIFE
Chapter
10 - Human Life?
11 - The Human Embryo
12 - Fetal Development
13 - Viability
14 - Fetal Pain
15 - In Vitro Fertilization
16 - Embryo/Fetal Experimentation
PART IV - ABORTION
Chapter
17 - How Many?
18 - What Kind and How?
19 - Very Early Abortions
20 - Maternal Complications/Immediate.
21 - Maternal Deaths & Long-Term Complications.
22 - Neonatal & Childhood Sequelae
23 - Breast Cancer
PART V - INFANTICIDE & EUTHANASIA
Chapter
24 - Fetal Handicap and Infanticide
25 - Euthanasia
PART VI - SOCIAL QUESTIONS
Chapter
26 - Choice?
27 - Illegal Abortions
28 - Parental Notification/Becky Bell
29 - Rape
30 - Impose Morality?.
31 - Unwanted
32 - The West Is Dying?
PART VII - ALTERNATIVES
Chapter
33 - Women Helping Centers
34 - Adoption
35 - Contraception
36 - Violence? Or A Protective Ring
PART VIII - OTHER THOUGHTS
Chapter
37 - Doctors & Nurses
38 - Words
39 - Polls
40 - The Media
41 - Capital Punishment/War
42 - Pro-Abortion Organizations/Planned Parenthood
43 - Tax-Funded Abortions
PART IX - WHAT TO DO
Chapter
44 - What To Do
http://abortionfacts.com/online_books/love_them_both/why_cant_we_love_them_both.asp
very important.
there are literally thousands of good, sound medical and moral reasons NOT to have an abortion.
99.9% of the time there's just one reason TO have an abortion - selfishness and self hatred.

reply from: choicerulz

Lol. That explains a lot.

reply from: choicerulz

Im interested in this topic cos its something I am looking at. I am looking forward to everyone's replies. Im supposed to have an abortion tomorrow, and am doing research to make sure it is the best thing for me.

reply from: galen

go to the links i posted in the introduction thread for libralchi ro.. there is some good information there.
remember you are already a mother, are you the mother of a dead child tomarrow or a live one is your choice.

reply from: choicerulz

Ill check out the links, thanks.

reply from: sander

You need to do what is best for you. Good luck.
So, to hell with the baby? There's another human being involved in abortion, the baby pays with his or her life, doesn't that matter to you at all, Xen? Not even a little?

reply from: galen

how far along are you choice?

reply from: choicerulz

About 2 and a half months.

reply from: sander

This is what your baby looks like and can do:
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

I hope you'll click on the link.

reply from: choicerulz

Im going to read all this stuff and may check back in later. Thanks.

reply from: sander

That's terribly sad, Xen. I was hoping you had a kinder heart. But, in two more weeks you would care?

reply from: galen

here is what your OB will be thinking about when you see a doctor...your child has all the parts that make it human.. everything needed for its senses.
it will feel some pain it will experience terror...that is a simple fact of nature.
even if YOU do not want the child or can not afford the child someone out there will. there will never be another time in your life when opportunity will be more open to you because of your pregancy.. school, jobs, etc will all be open to you now so you can take care of yourself and your child.
what state are you in?
http://www.visembryo.com/baby/10_weeks.html

reply from: sander

This is what gets me from your link, Mary:
Thorax
Vocal cords form in larynx and fetus can make sounds.

reply from: ChristianLott2

live abortion video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmmzc9kEcOc&feature=related

reply from: ChristianLott2

Lol. That explains a lot.
Explains what, that my children were murdered?
How is that funny?

reply from: ChristianLott2

I can only hope you learn how it feels to be stabbed to death too. ha ha ha.

reply from: sander

Lol. That explains a lot.
Explains what, that my children were murdered?
How is that funny?
Boo Hoo.
You should be more careful who you sleep with.
This is only making you look bad, Xen. And a hyocrite. You complain about others, why not try and set the example you want others to follow?
This man's pain is real, whether he has your approval to grieve or not.

reply from: ChristianLott2

no doubt, but you can NEVER stop a woman from lying to you.

reply from: ChristianLott2

find the adoptive parents in your state:
http://www.parentprofiles.com/

reply from: sander

You silly goose, because I don't think you're a sold out, cold hearted, pro-abort. There's hope for you!
And I told you, you're one of the nicer pro-aborts and I can't help liking you....I'll have a talk with myself if you want!

reply from: ChristianLott2

no doubt, but you can NEVER stop a woman from lying to you.
True, but they don't usually lie for no reason....
you are inferring people lie for a reason. duh.
she said she wanted to have children with me so she could abort them when she became pregnant?
i think she was sick and cruel, but that kind of reasoning would be psychopathic.
i think she was just distraught and scared and had a bunch of 'friends' like you.
you are the real reason why women get abortions. they listen to you in their time of emotion and you suggest murdering their own flesh and blood is not really murder, or that it's a kind of murder that doesn't really matter.
you make her think murdering her own child is somehow honorable. if that isn't the devil's advocate i don't know what is.
you dehumanize yourself with you're supposed 'enlightenment through choice'.

reply from: sander

Oh goodnes, I forgot to tell you, Christian.
Xen thinks she's the resident shrink....oops.

reply from: ChristianLott2

it's obvious she's making assumptions but doesn't want to show her hand. could it be there's nothing there and she's just baiting me?... nah...
i wish she'd take some time to read those links. she's a classic idealouge with no real knowledge about the medical (including psychological) dangers of abortion.
this is the one who told me my nightmare wasn't 'realistic'. shees.
she'll wave her little 'choice' wand and all those pesky statistics will just disappear.

reply from: cracrat

no doubt, but you can NEVER stop a woman from lying to you.
Maybe you should try the gay-love if women can't be trusted.

reply from: yoda

Ah..... so you are an expert on the motives for lying?
How about those who lie for selfish reasons? Or those who are just liars?
Do you mean to defend all liars, or just "special" ones?

reply from: LiberalChiRo

The risk of infertility (according to all sources from unbiased sites I've ever seen) is actually lower from abortion than from birth.
This is completely unproven. There are no reliable studies from unbiased sources that can prove this. There isn't even any logical link between abortion and breast cancer.
You cannot possibly know how he or his girlfriend will react to an abortion. He will probably be haunted but it's not his choice to make. His girlfriend may be relieved, and statistically, that's most likely.
Why was she having a 14 week abortion if you considered them to be babies? How did the doctor not know there were two? Was this a long time ago? Ultrasounds are required these days to determine the age and size of the embryo/fetus, and whether it is early enough on to safely abort.
Of course the abortion hurts. The only way it doesn't is if the woman is put completely under anesthesia, but that is more dangerous. Birth would have hurt a lot more. It sounds like there was not proper pre-abortion therapy. I'm sorry.

reply from: sk1bianca

liberalchiro, try www.physiciansforlife.org. they have pretty good studies about abortion.
the embryo doesn't miraculously turn into a baby if the mother or the father think of it that way. it is a human, no matter what you consider it or how you call it. our wishes or perceptions cannot cause any change to a living organism (unless you're paranormal and you can transform the human embryo into a cat, or a salamy, or a "blob of tissue").

reply from: faithman

AAAAHHH the dialog of the vagina. It is either welcome into the world, or PPPPPPPLLLLLLAAAAAAATTTTTTOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE into the clinic dumpster you go worthless clump of inconveniant cells. Some body parts should just be silenced.

reply from: ProInformed

"I doesn't actually sound like you give a crap about the child"
Oh like killing the baby boy would somehow be an indication of caring about him?
You're sick. And you're revealing that you are pro-abortion instead of pro-choice too. It doesn't matter to you choicists how flimsy, selfish, immature, illogical, uninformed the reasons TO abort are does it? If you were truly pro-chocie you'd just keep your POV to yourself instead of attacking his feeligns oflove for hisbaby boy. But youjust can't resist trying to harrass somebody into allowign their baby to be killed, can you.
Choicist.

reply from: ProInformed

"Well, she cannot get an abortion without an ultrasound to determine how far along she is, because the doctor may have to use a different process depending on how large the fetus is."
That's not true. There is no legal requirement that an abortionist has to use an ultrasound to determine how old the baby is before choosing what abortion method he uses. There SHOULD BE such requirements but the abortion industry fights all proposed legislation related to making legal abortion actually safer than illegal abortion. And even if an abortionist uses ultrasound technology, typically they will not allow the mother to see her baby on the screen because they know that will make it harder for them to sell her an abortion.
An ultrasound is definitely well-advised and could save the life of both the mother and baby, but it would be dangerous to have the ultrasound done at an abortion clinic.

reply from: Carifairy

PROINFORMED-
Look at any abortion clinic website...
http://www.gynpages.com
">http://www.gynpages.com
Every abortion provider uses U/S technology to date the pregnancy, and to ensure placement etc..

reply from: ProInformed

"I believe it IS her body and her chioce."
Since her concern is more about herself than about her baby, it might be more effective if you help her learn about how dangerous an abortion can be for her.
Do internet searches on:
'risks of abortion'
'women killed by abortion'
'abortion malpractice'
'abortion breast cancer link'
Visit the 'REAL CHOICE' and FEMINISTS FOR LIFE websites also.
Also, she probably assumes that at the clinic she will be given factual info about fetal devleopment, how the abortion will be done, possible risks, etc. But the abortion industry opposes granting pregnant women the important patient protection right of Informed Consent. They excuse leaving out info and even lying to women by claiming the woman already did her own search for relevent info before making an appointment at the clinic.

reply from: yoda

Yeah, right...... no doubt..... and I'm sure all other abortion mills are equally as generous too, right? I mean, none of them really care if the sight of a baby on an ultrasound causes a woman to change her mind about killing it, and loses them money right? I mean, it's too late then anyway, isn't it? You have her strapped down, and you'll finish the job no matter what, right?

reply from: ProInformed

"Every abortion provider uses U/S technology to date the pregnancy, and to ensure placement etc..
Many women want to see the u/s.. I would say 50% of my patients ask to see the u/s, and we have no problem showing it to them. "
spoken by an abortion industry employee... I already know for a fact that abortion clinic staff have little to no qualms about lying to women. Abortion industry claims minus proof are meaningless. Show a law that requires abortionist to use ultrasounds or shush up with your fibbing. There are places you can get an ultrasound besides (some) abortion industry clinics, places where greed and selling aren't a factor.

reply from: RiverMoonLady

Any woman who thinks she is pregnant should make an appointment with a gynecologist (one with a good reputation - she should ask her friends who they go to) and the couple should go together to see the doctor.
Ask questions and listen carefully.
A situation like this is complicated beyond the capabilities of a CPC or other group run by people who may have good intentions, but who are not physicians. Pregnancy is a medical condition - see a real doctor and talk to him/her about all of your concerns.

reply from: ProInformed

"The risk of infertility (according to all sources from unbiased sites I've ever seen) is actually lower from abortion than from birth."
You are either seriously ignorant or seriously deceptive to post such garbage!
The ONLY way the statistics can be interpreted that way is if you totally ignore the fact that the reporting of abortion-caused complications is voluntary and that when they are reported they can be falsely attributed to the general category of 'childbirth/pregancy' instead of abortion.
Your blatant disregard for the rights and health of women is showing.

reply from: ProInformed

eristic,
Find out who the abortionist is at the local abortion clinic, then do an online search on his name and the clinic's name. There are abortionists involved in scandals involving molesting or raping patients, operating without a license, failing to operate safely, etc. The women who go to clinics are assured that they are safe (just because they're legal). But even clinics with the NAF endorsement have endangered women. There are some abortionists who have repeatedly killed women, women who trusted they were 'safe'.
Go to the REAL CHOICE site for more info:
http://realchoice.blogspot.com/2008/06/1988-yet-another-death-at-naf-member.html

reply from: LolitaOlivia

If you don't want to give up the baby for adoption, then no wonder she wants to abort. You think maybe she just feels both of you aren't fit to be parents? If that's the case and you won't sign adoption papers so someone else can have the baby, abortion's the only option she has. I had a friend who had to get an abortion she didn't want because the father refused to sign adoption papers. She didn't want to raise the baby and didn't trust him to do it, though she really wanted it to be born. He basically pushed her into a corner with his refusal to cooperate with her wishes. So, you need to find out if she'd be willing to give up her baby for adoption, or if it's just that she doesn't want to be pregnant. If it's the first situation, you need to think long and hard about whether you'd prefer someone else to raise your baby or for there not to be one at all.

reply from: ProInformed

http://www.nrlc.org/WRTK/UltrasoundLaws/StateUltrasoundLaws.pdf

http://www.prolifeaction.org/home/2004/ultrasound.htm

http://www.nrlc.org/news/2007/NRL04/StateLeg.html

http://www.nrlc.org/news/2002/NRL02/rand.html

http://www.nrlc.org/news_and_Views/April08/nv041808part2.html

"Seven former patients have told investigators that the doctor did not perform ultrasounds to see if they were pregnant."
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=13017

reply from: RiverMoonLady

Who is to say that you (the man who impregnated his girlfriend) couldn't raise the child yourself? Maybe you can talk the girlfriend into having it and give up her parental rights. If a single woman younger than you can raise children, you should be able to. You're not a teenager any more.
Then again, you were irresponsible enough to get her pregnant. Maybe that idea isn't so great after all. It's a lot harder to raise a child than it is to create one.

reply from: yoda

How so? How is it not better than nothing at all, which is what they'll see at an abortion mill? How is it not better for the baby if a mother sees her baby on an ultrasound machine at a CPC and decides she can't kill it?
How complicated is that?

reply from: yoda

It sure is. That's what adoption is for.

reply from: sander

CPC's are a great resource. They are generally connected to medical professionals they can refer their clients to.
Why would anyone want to dissaude a couple like this away from ANY resource???

reply from: yoda

Um.... because they might be talked out of the abortion there?
Did I win anything?

reply from: faithman

Don't miss out on the lie being told here. If a CPC has the ultra sound most, if not all, states require medical professionals who are trained, to operate the machines. On the other hand, Planned Parenthoods are caught all the time withuncertified folks doing "medacine". Just more borty mis information.

reply from: sander

Behind door # 1

reply from: sander

Good points, Faithman.
Anything to facilitate an abortion by a proabort, I suppose.

reply from: Carifairy

Any doctor who would not perform a U/S should not be in practice...

reply from: yoda

And yet....... when they get caught, they generally suffer no consequences, there's even a totally untrained person doing them in LA... so far, no consequences..... they always get a walk, don't they?

reply from: emarmol

If you have a serious relationship and both of you love each other the sugestion that I have is tell her how much you love her and tell her you are ready for a family.
If you are not sure about her and or she is not sure about you then its not easy to ask her to have the baby if she does not want to have one, so you will need to find out first where you stand with her, ask her if she loves you and if she says that she does then ask her if making you happy is important to her! If she comes back with asking if you care about her feelings etc. Tell her that you do care about her feeling and this is why you are ready for this baby, because the baby is a part of her and you, created by God and the love that both of you share.
If for some reason your relationship is not a serious one, tell her that you will care for the baby until she is ready and if she simply does not want to have the baby and go through the 9months you need to win her over with out pressuring her but make sure that she does not make the desition on her own, tell her that you want to be a father and that you are ready to care for the baby.
Tell her that killing the baby is like cutting your heart or her out.
Tell her that if you were the one to be pregnant if that was possible, you would have it, but since this is not posible, tell her to please don't kill our child.
Don't use the word abortion, use the word kill etc.
Good luck and God bless.

reply from: 4given

It looks like you have received a lot of advice. I have spoken to a few men that were devastated by their child's death from abortion. I am sure she is probably going through every emotion right now. There is so much information- both on the stages of development as well as the effects of an abortion- Pregnancy Resource Centers could be a help to you both. I will pray for you both as led to. My hope is that her eyes are opened to the reality of abortion. There are links on the home page of this site that may be useful to both of you.

reply from: Hereforareason

From the 2 people who posted here about going in for abortions, are there any updates?
Amber

reply from: nancyu

What about her motivation? She is planning to murder her child because it is inconvenient for her to let him live.
Other than that I agree with you Vexing, and you are no longer "scum" in my book. (And the veggie pizza I just had for lunch was scrumptious!)

reply from: choicerulz

Yes I did get my abortion, it was the right thing for me.
I understand your opinions differ but for me this was the best choice.
I can now concentrate on my studies.

reply from: galen

_________________________________________________-
i hope your child's life was worth it...
i hope you child's pain was worth it
i hope your grief will be worth it.

reply from: sander

Like we didn't see this coming. *rolls eyes*

reply from: sander

Don't be sad Mary. There was no abortion, just another jack ass yanking our chains, she wasn't the first and sadly, won't be the last.

reply from: LolitaOlivia

No, I'm pretty sure she did.

reply from: sander

Like we could trust you as far we could throw you....
Please...just like you're "pretty sure" Faithman's wife left him.
Do you ever tire of making an utter fool out of yourself, ever?

reply from: yoda

You got that right......... and usually, we fall for them like a hayseed who had never seen the big city before........

reply from: sander

It shouldn't surprise anyone to see how cruel these proaborts are....look at what they support.
We tend to err on the side of caution, so it makes us look like a "hayseed", but I'd rather look like one of those than a hard hearted proabort any day of the week.

reply from: yoda

Yeah, that's how it should be. I lost my "caution" over on eHealth, reading certain posts there for 4 months.

reply from: QueenJ

eristic
PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject: My girlfriend wants to keep the baby...
and I don't think we can.
I don't know what to do because on the one hand, I believe it IS her body and her chioce. On the other hand, we cannot afford a baby now and the adoption option is too hard a task for us. She thinks we can do it, but I don't think we're ready.
We just found out she was pregnant two weeks ago (we don't know how along she is) and have been arguing since. Go figure, huh? I found this board because I'm really lost. What can I do? I think I can't do anything because of laws, but I might as well see what other people think.
Yours,
Lost
Posted @ http://www.prochoicetalk.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?t=6670
On a pro-choice forum, she wants to keep the baby and you want her to have an abortion.
On a pro-life forum, she wants an abortion and you want to keep the baby.
So, uh, which is it? Or is it neither because none of this is true?
You get ZERO troll points. You didn't even have the common sense to change your username or alter your post (save the switching of who wants want according to the forum to which you posted). Creativity. You have none.

reply from: sander

Thanks Queen J for exposing this one....the trolls are out of school for the summer. *sigh*

reply from: ProInformed

To the trolls:
Why don't you use your internet access to actually learn something about this very important issue instead of just playing juvenile games?
Are you afraid to learn more because you know that will threaten your current POV?
Do internet searches on:
fetal development
abortion methods
abortions risks
abortion deaths
abortion industry
pro-life feminism
real choice
Grow up and LEARN SOMETHING!
sheesh (and they think they're mature enough to be havign sex? hmmph)

reply from: ProInformed

"Yes I did get my abortion, it was the right thing for me.
I understand your opinions differ but for me this was the best choice.
I can now concentrate on my studies."
Study this:
Do internet searches on fetal development and abortion techniques

reply from: LiberalChiRo

Seven out of how many? Seven is a tiny number. Yes, it's wrong they did not get ultrasounds and yes, that doctor should be sued for not following procedure. However, I hardly think seven women is a sign of a horrible conspiracy. Seven HUNDRED, maybe I'd start worrying.

reply from: ProInformed

"PROINFORMED- (and anyone else too)
ANY 'clinic' or doctor who performs an abortion w/o proper U/S examination should absolutely NOT be practicing medicine of ANY KIND.
A proper ultrasound is necessary for MANY reasons, including ensuring that the pregnancy is not ectopic or MOLAR.(serious health risks)
Any doctor who would not perform a U/S should not be in practice..."
I agree. Why don't you try telling that to the abortion industry and 'pro-choice' groups who defend it? I'm not the one falsely assuring women that abortion is safe just because it's legal. I think an altrasound should be legally required before abortion surgery for many reasons including protecting the pregnant patient's right to know the truth about how developed her baby is against the abortionist's desire to decieve in order to boost his profits, and to detect dangerous ectopic pregnancies (search on 'ectopic deaths' at the Real Choice website).
Assuming and assuring that legal abortion is saafe doesn't protect women;
in fact it endangers women. Trusting that the abortion industry is already doing what they should be doing is HOW they get away with not taking the proper precautions! Passing legislation that requires the abortion industry to use ultrasounds is a way to protect women; pretending the abortion industry probably already does so endangers women.
If you are so sure that abortion clincs already take all the necessary precautions, then why don't you contact some clinics, the NAF (National Abortion Federation), 'pro-choice' organizations, and 'pro-choice' politicians and tell THEM what you said here:
"ANY 'clinic' or doctor who performs an abortion w/o proper U/S examination should absolutely NOT be practicing medicine of ANY KIND.
A proper ultrasound is necessary for MANY reasons, including ensuring that the pregnancy is not ectopic or MOLAR.(serious health risks)
Any doctor who would not perform a U/S should not be in practice..."
If you/they REALLY believe that then you/they would have no objection to supporting legislation to enforce that, right?

reply from: LiberalChiRo

If you had given it up for adoption, your studies would not have been interrupted. Your life would be exactly the same ten years from now. Except... your child won't be in a loving home. He or she is dead.
The risks (mental or physical) during pregnancy are RARE just like the risks during abortion are RARE. The risks to the mother associated with both cancel themselves out in my opinion. That leaves the risk to the child, which in abortion means a 99.9% chance of death. The risk of it dying during an established pregnancy are far lower - in fact, RARE.
The only influences, then, are external. Your friends, your family, your peers. Regrettably, pregnancy right now is viewed as a disease instead of glorious. This is where the cultural change needs to take place. If you were not afraid of what your friends and family thought, you wouldn't be afraid to be pregnant.


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